6 Month Update

I’ve been blogging for six months now.  While I’d normally be excited about this particular post, I’m feeling rather blah.  This past month hasn’t been a good one.  If you read my progress (if you can call it that) below, you’ll see why I’m not in a celebratory mood.  Debbie Downer‘s all over this post.

PROGRESS

Original Debt (beginning mid December 2012): $102,645

Current Debt (6 months later): $99,765

Well, this is kind of horrible.  My debt has increased  by $277 since last month, dropping me down to 2.8% of my goal from 3.07% last month.

DEBT BREAKDOWN

Federal Student Loans $56,543 $56,685 (up $142 since last month, an overall $785 increase over 6 months)

Private Student Loans $39,145 $39,087 (down $58 since last month, an overall decrease of $1,631 in 6 months)

  • StudentLoan#1: $6,696 $6,581 (down $115 since last month, an overall decrease of $579 in the past 6 months)
  • StudentLoan#2: $10,873 $10,909 (up $36 since last month, $291 in 6 months)
  • StudentLoan#3: $17,673 $17,690 (up $17 since last month, $550 in 6 months)
  • StudentLoan#4: $3,903 $3,907 (up $4 since last month, $118 in 6 months)

Student loan interest is the most confusing and frustrating thing ever.  Despite being months ahead on my private loan payments, most of them have increased since last month.

US Bank Credit Card $2,828 $3,105 (up $277 since last month, down $1,545 in 6 months)

I used the US Bank CC to rent a car when my old POS broke down.  I plan on throwing a couple hundred at this card next week and will hopefully get this one paid off quickly since the interest has kicked in.

BOA Credit Card $972 $888 (down $84 since last month, $582 in 6 months)

I’m trying to stay positive knowing that I have several large upcoming payments due in the second half of the month, but this is just frustrating.

HEALTH, GOALS & OTHER CRAP

I had my cortisol tests yesterday and will not be surprised to hear if my levels are still high.  I can’t help but be overly stressed out.  I snap at the littlest things.  It’s so frustrating.

I hate my voice.  I basically sound like a muffled, nasally child.  I can open my mouth only 10mm so my words often go unheard.  Jaw immobility paired with soft palate issues make certain sounds difficult for me to annunciate.  It’s especially frustrating over the phone.  Talking for long periods causes my TMJ to act up.  It’s depressing to find out there’s probably not much that can be done to fix any of these issues.  It’s been like this for 18 years, so I guess I can continue to live with it.  I see a doctor in July about soft palate issues, so I still have to remain hopeful.  Maybe speech therapy would help?

Having a voice you’re confident in is important.  It’s key to getting you hired.  I disqualify myself for certain types of jobs because I’m not confident about my voice.  I got an email early this week from HuffPost Live asking if I’d be interested in participating in a Google Hangout panel (via webcam) about the student loan interest debate. While I’m flattered to be considered knowledgeable on the subject, there’s that nagging (nasally, muffled) voice in my head saying  you can’t do that…no one will understand you.

I haven’t really been trying to stick to any of my goals for this month.  I’ve been too stressed and depressed.

Same with the budget, haven’t been keeping up with it very well.

Some days are semi-productive but then there’s 2-3 days where I’m just so tired and feel blah that nothing gets done.  I did finally junk the old car, got $275 for it.  I need to get to the DMV, two days ago.  I haven’t been to the grocery store since the first week of June.  We have been eating whatever crap we have in the cupboards and freezer and it’s mostly grains, wonderful for my gluten intolerance.

I need to find a way out of this funk.

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10 thoughts on “6 Month Update

  1. I’m sorry dear! I know too well depression and being in funks. Try to stay in the moment, keep focused on your goals and keep trying. Have a great weekend!

  2. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so blah. Some months will be harder than others (we’re in the tougher months for us right now with my hubby not in school over the summer, meaning, no housing for us until October-ish) but just know it will get better. It’s what we keep telling ourselves. And it has worked out for us so far. Try to stay as positive as you can and now that July is a new month, and a new chance to to bring more debt down. Something that helped us……putting our debit cards (we don’t have credit cards anymore) in our safe. We only use them to pay for our monthly bills, so we don’t need it when we go out. Groceries, blow money, gas, gift shopping, etc is all paid with cash that we take out each week at the bank depending on what is needed so we don’t accidentally over spend.

    I take that back. My husband has flat out told me not to give him cash for gas money. He says when I do that he’ll only spend some on gas and then the rest as blow money, if he’s run out of blow money early. LOL! Hey, at least he’s honest. Gotta give him credit for that. LOL! So, he takes the debit card, gets gas and brings it back, and because I am crazy about checking the account he doesn’t even try to use it anywhere else. HAHA!!!

    OK, the point of my rambling, is maybe you can try this idea (if you don’t already) and to look up. You have paid off almost $3,000 in 6 months! That’s HUGE and is pretty difficult to pay that kind of chunk off in that amount of time. You are doing fantastic! Keep up the great work!

    • Thanks! Keeping positive is the only way to move forward…working on that! We already have a cash system in place. The only thing we use our debit card for is gas. Hubby can’t have any cash on him except for his energy drink fund, which is kind of like your husband’s blow money. If it’s there, he’ll spend it 🙂

  3. I think you have shown some tremendous progress in just 6 months. Don’t be a debbie downer 🙂 Most people would not have had the fortitude to pay that much in such a short amount of time

  4. Sadly, that’s part of the journey. The bads and the blahs. I think you should join that panel though. Practice makes perfect, and it’s not like you will be judged. At worst, they just wont use your feedback, which is fine. But you may be pleasantly surprised. Have you tried vlogging to yourself, never to be published unless you really want to? I do a lot of recording of myself, like a video diary, because I used not to like my voice (heavy Caribbean accent and I talk SUPER fast), and I’ve grown a lot more comfortable with my own voice. Hope you find a way to move along!

    • Thanks Tanner! I may have to try your suggestion. I think that would help me build some confidence in accepting my voice for what it is. Unfortunately the panel has come and gone but I’ll keep my eyes open for future opportunities.

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