How Debt is Holding Me Back

Being able to live debt free is my number one goal.  I will do everything I morally can do to become debt free and begin living life unchained!  Alas, we must live within our means and I definitely feel like debt is holding me back from certain aspects in life.


If we had no debt, we surely would have bought a second car long ago.  A newer used car so my 1995 rustmobile with 193,000+ miles would become the backup.

Having a second car would encourage me to seek out more jobs and expand on providing personal assistant or babysitting services.  It’s tough to say you have reliable transportation with a piece of junk that you share with your husband who has a stable job that sometimes requires him to make trips to places on base or sometimes to other local bases for training purposes.

If we had that second, more reliable car, I could use it to make more frequent trips to visit my friend who lives about 4 hours away instead of having to rent a car whenever I want to see her.

I guess vacations would fall into this category too.  I like to visit my family in the Midwest at least once a year.  Last year’s two week trip costed me about $1500 for plane tickets and to rent a car for two weeks.  That all went on my credit card.  I definitely need to plan my trip better this year.  There is no way I can afford another $1500 vacation!


I’ve been teetering back and forth a lot lately between wanting to move again and wanting to stay in this awful apartment to save money.  I couldn’t sleep last night and found myself searching for houses for rent.  If we didn’t have debt we could probably afford to spend a couple hundred dollars more to rent a nice single family house instead of renting a crappy apartment.

My husband will be out to sea a lot this year.  He’s been gone for just a few days now but it feels like forever and I want him home.  I’m just not comfortable being here alone.  If I have to be alone a lot, I’d rather it be somewhere that I feel safe and happy.  This apartment is nothing but stressful.  I haven’t really unpacked anything yet because it’s been constant, pointless cleaning.  I’m finding more and more tiny holes in the bathroom walls and not only are we a home for roaches, but ants as well.  I cringe every time I set foot in the bathroom and the kitchen.   I sleep with the lights on to ward off the roaches.  No amount of learning to better cope with my stress will allow me to live here completely stress free.

I’m like The Clash, “Should I stay or should I go now?  If I go there will be trouble.  And if I stay it will be double.”

It’d be nice to one day have our own house or own a rental home.  At this point in time it feels like that will never be a reality.  Even if we could afford a mortgage payment, I don’t want to go into more debt!


I see many friends and acquaintances purchasing homes and starting families or expanding on the ones they already have.  I have debt the size of a mortgage but I can’t live in it.  Forever (until my debt is paid off) we two will rely on the income of one.  Will there ever be a time when we do not live month-to-month?  I’ll be 28 this summer and need to see a reproductive endocrinologist before I can even consider getting pregnant.  The clock is ticking as far as starting a family goes.  But it’s just not going to happen until we can afford to not live month-to-month.  (To tie in with the current housing dilemma, we would need more space and definitely something more clean and sanitary for a baby!)

I don’t really do anything for fun.  My closest friend is 4 hours away.  I’ve lived in this area for 1.5 years and I haven’t gone out anywhere to make friends.  It costs gas money to go anywhere and I don’t like spending money on things that are not necessary when I know it could be put towards our debt.


It would be wonderful if we could not live month-to-month and actually save money.  A lot of PF blogs stress the importance of having an emergency fund.  Ours has $15 in it.  Every extra penny we have at the end of the month goes towards debt first.

It’s pretty pathetic that I have absolutely no retirement fund.  It’s tough to save when you owe Sallie Mae everything you’ve got and have never had a career or been able to find a job making much more than minimum wage on a part-time basis.


Oh money, how I loathe thee!  Yet desire so!

How does debt hold you back?


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